But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realized that striving to be just be a shining city on a hill like Reagan said is aiming too low. I don’t want people to walk by the United States and just say, “Ooh! Look! Shiny!” People have fought and died for our country and our liberty, and they’ve worked harder than anyone else in the world for this prosperity we share. Thus a cute little shiny city on some dinky hill isn’t good enough. Instead, America should be a blazing inferno on a mountain. The sheer brilliance of America’s awesomeness should cause foreigners to scream in pain if they dare try to gaze upon it. Children should have to poke holes in shoe boxes to even glimpse it. We shouldn’t even have to worry about dinky terrorists, as the mere sight of America should melt their faces as if they were the Nazis from the Indiana Jones movies looking into the Ark of the Covenant. That’s how great America should be. At minimum.

From How to Fix Everything in America Forever, by Frank J. Flemming.

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